Where Did Sufferings Come From?

One day I was having dinner with my colleagues when this question was asked: "Where did sufferings come from?"

Besides myself, there were 2 other Christians on the same table.

The first Christian said, "God gave us sufferings so that we can learn a something from it."

The second Christian said, "God can ultimately bring out something good out of the sufferings because He is in control." Good answer, if it were given to a different question.

I kept quiet at that time, which is quite uncommon when such questions were asked, but I did not want to allow non-believers to see us Christians argue among ourselves about doctrinal issues. I knew that if I gave a third opinion to the same question, it might cause confusion to the non-believers around.

So I waited for another opportunity when I was alone with this first Christian to ask her again the same question. She was so certain that God was the one who gave us humans sufferings and problems (although for our good). She said that all the while this was what being taught to her.

I asked her to go home and think about the question again. I said, "If God was the one who gave us sufferings, wouldn't it make Him a bad god? How can a good God give us bad things?"

A few weeks later... (which is today)

We met up, and I asked her if she had an answer to my previous question. This time round she gave me an even more interesting answer:

1. Sufferings came from God, to teach us something.
2. Sufferings did not come from the Devil - we shouldn't blame the devil for all the bad things that happens to us.

I was shocked! Firstly, sufferings come from God, then, sufferings did not come from the devil. Think about it - all of a sudden God became the bad guy, the devil became the good guy! Just by a slight twist in doctrine the roles were being reversed.

She immediately called up a friend who is supposed to be an authority in the knowledge about God. This friend explained over the phone the concepts in discussion and answered our questions. We later came to a conclusion of what should be the answer.

The Answer:

1. God does not give us sufferings, although He is able to make use of our sufferings to teach us lessons and to build up our character.
2. Most of the sufferings that we go through are self-inflicted, through our own sins, carelessness, neglect, wrong habit patterns, etc.
3. Some of the sufferings were brought about by the devil

This answer sounded fine with me. I'll stick to this for the time being, meanwhile I'm open to any better answers.

I ended our discussion with a humble advise: Don't simply accept what was being taught, although they claim to be teaching from the bible. Study the bible for yourselves and check through their teaching against the bible.

God - a fun-spoiler?

I was asked this question: why did God put on us so many restrictions - that we can't have fun any more if we want to follow God.

He gave this scenario: He had a lady friend who is a Christian. She is dating somebody, but wouldn't have sex with her boyfriend. The reason why she won't do it is because God forbids people having sex outside marriage. So he concluded that God doesn't want us to have fun, because we humans want to have fun (ie. sex)

I did not answer immediately, but went home and pondered over this question. I came back to him today and gave him this answer.

Is God a fun-spoiler?

Let me illustrate with this scenario:

Imagine one day your daughter (this friend of mine is a father of 2 teenaged daughters) came and asked you for your permission to go for an overnight party. When you asked her what do they do there at the party, she answered, "We party, drink alcohol and have lots of sex. Anybody can have sex with everybody."

Firstly, would you allow her to go? - No. No way.

Why? What reason would you give your daughter? - She might get pregnant.

What else would you tell her? Because she might answer you that she will use contraceptives, and that problem is taken care of.

He told me, "I don't know... why don't you tell me the answer."

"Unwanted pregnancy is just one of the reasons, and there are many reasons why we won't allow our children to have sex freely, for example the danger of sexually transmitted diseases". I answered.

"The main reason is that we don't want our loved ones to get hurt."

Similarly, God our heavenly Father also loved us so much and does not want us to get hurt. When He gave us the rule that we must only have sex within marriage, He actually has our best interest in mind.

God who created us in the first place knew what is best for us. He knows that if we have pre-marital sexual relationships, it will damage us emotionally - and this applies to both male and female.

It affects our self-worth and self-image - we will be burdened with guilt and condemnation, and will result in low self-esteem. We will feel used and unappreciated. We begin to despise ourselves, and feel we are no longer "whole".

Surely, God is able to heal us from all these, but God loves us too much He doesn't want us to go through all these hurt in the first place.

It affects our future relationships - If we end up marrying someone else, we will have feelings of guilt towards our partner because we failed to give to our partner our best. We feel we can't give them the whole of us, because we have already give a part of us to someone else.

Even if we were marrying the person we had sex with, there is also a problem of appreciation and respect. Either way it is going to affect our marriage in the long run. (Again, God is able to heal this if we go back to Him)

The reason God put this restriction of no sex before marriage is to protect us from the hurt. He is not out to spoil our fun, because he knows that the "fun" we get from pre-marital sex will eventually lead to a lot of hurts and broken relationships. He wants us to have the REAL FUN, which can be found in a lasting relationship built from a mutual trust and appreciation.